“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom” – Lao Tzu

The 4th element of Niyama in yoga is Svadhyaya, which translates to “self-study” or “self-reflection”- I make a commitment to honoring the constant change that naturally happens in life, in seasons, in yoga practice and in my faith journey. 

In each chapter of my life, I have become a new creation. This isn’t just a faith journey, but a human journey. Like anyone else, there are moments when I have a haunting moment and ask myself, “How did I get here?” This is not a negative question, nor a positive question – although it is easy to ask this question in those extremes. But rather, I ask myself this from a heart space.

Maybe a better way to ask this question is this: “What changes did I consicously or unconsciously make to get me to this point in my life?” I am never walking alone, and while I am the commander of my own decisions, God is the ultimate architect of the opportunities that come my way, giving me the choice to intentionally craft a life that is honoring to His purpose and my unique self.

Svadhyaya in the Bible

I am not always my most honest critic. If I don’t look directly at my own heart, I miss the point, I miss the beauty and I miss the opportunity for growth.

My inner voice lets me off the hook and fails to hold me accountable when life gets messy and I cling to outdated and unhealthy patterns. My intuition, my gut, is connected to the Holy Spirit and when I refuse to listen, to study what changes need to be made, then I am not aligned with my yoga practice or my faith. 

My inner voice can also be too critical of others, out of jealousy, fear or disappointment. It is easier to look at ways others are failing me or themselves instead of studying my own path. This is especially true in our divisive political era. Svdhyaya teaches me to study my own path instead of those of others. 

“You who pretend to be someone you are not, first take the big piece of wood out of your own eye. Then you can see better to take the small piece of wood out of your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7”5 NLV

My inner voice can be cruel and unkind, echoing the hurtful and untrue words of others, many which keep me feeling small. This isn’t the voice of my Heavenly Father. This is the voice that keeps me from feeling His full love and seeing myself as His precious creation.

“As water acts as a mirror to a face, so the heart of man acts as a mirror to a man.” Proverbs 27:19

Svadhyaya in Life

I often get the answers I want from the people closest to me – which is the definition of an Echo Chamber. We become our environment, and when that echos back and forth, I lose the opportunity for honest and helpful criticism and encouragement. Instead, relationships enforce what I already know, what I already think and what I already have decided I want for myself and my life.

Svdhyaya in daily life encourages me to seek counsel and perspectives outside of my normal chain of conversation. I have to look at the goals I am setting for myself and ask, “Is this outdated? Does this fit with my current skill, lifestyle and dream?”

It helps to do something new, outside of my comfort zone, which also give me access to a new kind of person, a new expert, and someone wiser in different areas of life. Staying in my Echo Chamber doesn’t allow for growth, and staying the same out of fear and/or comfort is not the yoga way.

Svadhyaya in Yoga

Every time I step on my yoga mat, I am agreeing to get to know myself, as myself, as I am. 

• I am listening to my body – what feels strong today? What needs a little more tenderness?
• I am listening to my breath, being grateful for the Prana, the life force, that keeps me alive and experiencing life without my conscious effort.
• I am listening to my physical shape – my feet, legs, back, chest, arms and mind. How is my body expressing itself today?

I started practicing yoga after my second son was born because I was drowning in post partum depression and the small gym in my town had free childcare. It was all I could do to get to my mat for 90 minutes, twice a weeks. I came back to myself on my mat, and even now, my yoga practice is the most direct route back to my own self – not as a mom, wife, daughter, friend, or professor. Just me, my mat, my heart and God.

Over the last 12 years of consistent yoga practice, both on and off my mat, I have developed Svadhyaya as a way to take inventory of what is going well, what I am not facing, what needs more attention, and above all, what I can be grateful for- not just in my life, but in myself.

I list the ways I have grown, the ways I am proud of myself, a time for sweet-talking my inner child who wants to feel seen and safe, and ways in which I know God is using me for the good of His people. This is the kind of inventory Svadhyaya can develop.

I am not expecting my practice to be what it was yesterday, or last year, or what I envisioned when I parked my car. I accept what is, allowing God to reveal His purpose for my practice. I surrender to the changes that are happening, and I stay open to how my body will feel during and after the practice. I accept that seasons of life will be quieter than others, and my practice will feel differently in each one. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV): “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”

Svadhyaya doesn’t ask me to name my feelings, or categorize my ability. It definitely does not want me to judge my poses and my practice compared to what I thought it would look and feel like today, or what it looks like on the mat next to mine.

Instead, I am the witness to my experience. I study my emotions, not name them. I honor my body, not judge it. I expand my breath, and therefore my sense of being, without holding it in. I take up space, because I deserve to.

“There is no greater journey than the one that you must take to discover all of the mysteries that lie within you.” — Michelle M. Melloe

Think About It

Here are some prompts for your next journal, meditation or even to contemplate while taking a walk.

• Are there areas of your life you are more critical than you should be? Less discerning than you should be?

• How are you different than you were 5 years ago?

• List three areas of your life you feel the most mature, grown and strong

• How has God revealed Himself in the most recent struggle of your life?

I would love to hear how Tapas is being practiced in your own life? Your yoga practice and your Christian faith.

Leave a comment below to inspire others!